Baseball Games with the Elderly

This past week, D. and I went to the Albuquerque Isotopes game. Sitting directly behind us were a few folks from a local rest home and their “handlers” (for lack of a better term). This made the baseball game, which was really quite boring, a ton more interesting.

First, we watched a very old man shuffle at a molasses pace towards the restroom. Important thing to note is that he left in the first inning. He didn’t return…ever. This left me VERY concerned and I suggested several times that D. go check the bathroom since the rest home employees didn’t seem to notice.

Second, the gentleman that sat directly behind us sounded quite similar to Donald Duck when he talked. (I assume from MANY years of smoking.) What made that enjoyable was that he screamed at the team the whole game. My personal favorites were when he yelled that his mother could play baseball better than the Isotopes. Mind you, this man was probably 80+, so I don’t need to do that math on his mother’s age for you. Another favorite was, “I paid good money for this game and now I am getting agitated. You don’t want to see what I can do when I get agitated!” I assume that would probably involve beating someone down with his cane.

Third, the woman behind us was quite sweet and played with the small children in our row. That was until she convinced the rest home employees that beer wasn’t prohibited from her diet. She had four beers over the course of the last hour of the game. I am sure I don’t need to explain to you what happens when someone who doesn’t really drink has four beers in an hour. The walk to the rest home van was probably interesting.

All that said, I think everyone got what they wanted out of the game. As I watched “Donald Duck” leave, he twirled his cane and did a little dance step. The boozy lady giggled like a schoolgirl once beer three was done. D. got to do the chicken dance and I got to see the mascot Orbit. We all got to watch the Isotopes come back from a big deficit to win the game. The only one I am not sure about is the guy who never came back from the bathroom…